Disappointed Mom Counseling

"Please, ma'am, if you're going to yell at me, just go ahead and do it.  But please don't tell me you're disappointed!"                            - One of my chiefs before a recent counseling session

For anyone who's met me, you've realized by now that I am not a large, intimidating, or imposing figure.  I stand a whopping five feet and half an inch (you know you're short when you count the half-inches), which even in combat boots makes me five foot two.  The vast majority of people I work with are taller than me.  I also have long learned that when I yell, my voice gets kind of screechy and generally loses the effect.  As a result, I've long learned the best way to counsel my sailors has been going the Disappointed Mom route.  This is what this means:  I usually sit them down, or for more privacy, ask them to take a walk with me.  Then I lower my shoulders, slow the pace of my voice, and begin with something along the words of, "I am really disappointed..."  The sailor, for his or her part, usually looks like a kicked puppy.  

This method is awesome.

And super effective.

It's only effective because of a couple weird scenarios that occur in the Navy.  Foremost, by Navy standards, I'm sort of old.  I  am nowhere near old enough to be people's mom, but I have almost a decade on my junior sailors.  Secondly, by being an officer, I automatically have that distinct level of authority/positional respect that most people associate with your parents.  Thirdly, where else but the Navy does someone older than you talk to you about safe drinking, safe sex, safe driving, makes sure you get to your appointments on time, and that you have a roof over your head and enough food to eat... other than your parents?  Fourth, by being the most senior female officer on my ship, I've acquired that "mom" aura about myself.  And lastly, the Disappointed Mom schtick works because I work hard for my sailors, which means they work hard for me, and so they generally want to make me happy.  And disappointed does NOT equal happy.

Now if only it worked as well on my actual kids.