Being a baby is the best time to train as an urban ninja.
The main reasons you should be training (or allowing) your baby as an urban ninja are:
1. Your baby can get away with just about murder. Babies are just so gosh darn cute. Reaching into a stranger's pockets, climbing store displays, or starting the car are so much cuter when babies and toddlers do it. Owen stealing my car keys to try to start the car? Cute. Random teenager trying to do so, and I'd be calling the police.
2. Your baby has built in padding. Once babies reach past a certain age (say 15 minutes), they're pretty study little creatures, especially once they can hold their heads up. Their adorable rolls of fat help cushion against most blows and that diaper is additional built in padding in case walking across the top of the railing didn't go so well.
3. Your baby can hide anywhere. What more essential skill of a ninja is there than being able to hide/disappear anywhere? Babies can fit into any tiny crevice: clothing racks, sales displays including a toy doghouse, cabinets, underneath furniture...
4. Your baby is more flexible than the entire Olympic gymnastics team. Have you seen your baby lick their toes while simultaneously rolling across the floor? I feel a muscle strain just watching my kids sometimes.
5. Your baby's "hard time" is being put back into a crib or play yard. Come on, even if your baby's training is unsuccessful and Mom or Dad disapprove of the baby trying to remove stealthily every container of seasoning they own, they'll get a short time out.
So next time you see my kids and wonder why they're dressed all in black... you'll know why and just let them get away with it because they're so gosh darn cute.
