Dear Owen,
I know that you love cheese. You go through a 16 oz container of cottage cheese every week. You eat two string cheese sticks every snack session. Two weeks ago, you ate 75% of my expensive, artisan goat cheese. Last week, you ate the rest of the bleu cheese crumbles... straight... like candy. You added half the package of shredded cheddar to the mashed potatoes we made together. You figured out how to open fridge door to get to the cheese drawer to feed yourself. The final straw was that earlier this week, I walked into the kitchen to find you on the floor, eating cream cheese straight from the container.
Please... You need help. You have a cheese problem.
We, your parents, would like to actually eat some of the cheese in the house. And when I give you hugs or kisses, I get semi-nauseous from the cheese aroma emanating from your pores, no matter how often I bathe you.
Love,
Mommy
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