The Asian Genes Are Strong...

Though my kids get 50% of their genes from me and Niles, they don't appear that way.  As I've always said, the Asian genes are strong...  Dark hair and eyes beat the blond hair/blue eyes from Niles into submission.  Owen looks about 99.9999% Asian while Anduin might be 80% Asian.  Anyway, below are three true stories.  So if your kids are going to be hapa (mixed race) too, you might want to start preparing.

Story 1:
Niles is walking through Toys R Us with Owen, wondering when he can start buying Owen legos.  A well-intentioned woman comes up to him and asks, "Is that a boy or a girl?"
Niles answers, looking at Owen wearing khakis and an orange button down shirt, "A boy."
Well-intentioned woman:  He is so cute!  My daughter adopted a little girl from China.  Where is yours from?
Niles: My wife.  She's Asian... and somewhere around here...
Awkward silence ensues.

Story 2:
My mother-in-law is watching Owen for the weekend.  First off, she's got sandy blond hair and blue eyes.  While chasing Owen on the playground, another well-intentioned woman comes up to her and says, "Your son is so cute!"
My MIL: Thanks, but he's my grandson.
Well-intentioned woman: Oh, where did you get him from?
My MIL: My daughter-in-law's lady parts.
REALLY awkward silence ensues.

Story 3:
Niles is at our local polling center doing his civic duty with two young children.  One kind poll worker holds Anduin while Niles holds a sleeping Owen.  Another well-intentioned woman comes up to Niles.
Well-intentioned woman:  They're so cute!  Are they twins?
Niles: No, they're 13 months apart.
Well-intentioned woman: You're so lucky to have a boy! 
Niles: Well, you know, you've got a 50-50 chance.
Well-intentioned woman: My daughter adopted a baby from China, and they only offered her girls.
Niles: Oh!  He's my biological son, or at least that's what my wife says.  He just doesn't look anything like me.
Awkward silence before changing subjects and cooing over Anduin...

So in case you think the parent who doesn't look like they've contributed any genes to the baby gets all of the awkward child interactions...

Story 4:
Me at the Dunkin Donuts at base trying to feed two starving children a nutritous snack of donuts and ice cream.  Owen is pointing to the letters I ask him while we wait.  Another well-intentioned woman in front of me in line starts conversation.
Well-intentioned woman: Oh, they're so cute!
Me: Thanks.
Well-intentioned woman: And so smart!  Asian babies are always so smart!
Me: ...
Well-intentioned woman: My daughter adopted a baby from China, and she's so smart for her age.
Me: ...

Because in case you didn't know, all Asian babies are ninjas and super smart.  Which is good since the Asian genes are strong in hapa babies.